A boyfriend who thinks I'm the play ground where he can visit in every holiday to reminsence good old days each time he is in country for a holiday.
A holiday where all I get to spend my time with the same people as I keep on running away from the whole year.
Home makes me feel paralysd dependent on your mom for food. dependent on dad's permission for going out, dependent on friends if they are free to go out and all points of time there is a sure probability of one of the things mentioned above goes wrong. If your parents agree your friends parents do not. Sometimes you don't have the vehicle..sometimes when you have everything planned you are left with no money. Grr....I hate it the whole thought of the holiday seems perfect to me just for a week beyond that your parents start observing every minute thing they can prosecute you for. From the extra pounds you have gained on your tummy to yourr long phone calls to your addiction to internet usage. Every damn darn thing.
And yes holidays make me think of my boyfriend(or Ex bf) I have no freaking idea. He comes and goes like the monsoons only just twice a year. And then for the rest of the year the excessive pressure of my friends to leave him and move on continues(not their fault they are the ones to wipe out my tears after he storms out). Each time I think it's going to be the final time I see myself ending up hugging him weaving new dreams to be shattered by my monsoon.
Why on earth can't I move on.
As for the rest of the people they are just in and out I don't remember when and where I left the count. I feel like running away where I know nobody. Nobody to judge nobody to count on. Where I'm responsible for my own actions. I feel like a restless soul.
And for the rest of the year when I'm busy giving exams or running to college society meetings or celebrating birthdays or just trying to keep a pace with the rest of the people around I'm happy. It's the holidays that trouble me:Reminds me of the long lost monsoon; of my failures and how all other people are more happier then me. Thinking makes me unhappy. It gives me a harsh reality check leading me through a phase of being brutal to myself reasonable or unreasonable hard to decide.
I may enjoy a holiday away from home all on my own where I know nobody. No friends no foes a place where there is nobody known. Running the whole day completing my training and project amongst the people I strongly abhore isn't my idea of a holiday. I just need some time alone.
Anything except this is nothing but another addition to my year long battle with the world updating myself every second(clothes, vocab, social circle everything) just so as to be in the race. I want a holiday rather to frame it rightly I need a "BREAK"
And for the rest of the year when I'm busy giving exams or running to college society meetings or celebrating birthdays or just trying to keep a pace with the rest of the people around I'm happy. It's the holidays that trouble me:Reminds me of the long lost monsoon; of my failures and how all other people are more happier then me. Thinking makes me unhappy. It gives me a harsh reality check leading me through a phase of being brutal to myself reasonable or unreasonable hard to decide.
I may enjoy a holiday away from home all on my own where I know nobody. No friends no foes a place where there is nobody known. Running the whole day completing my training and project amongst the people I strongly abhore isn't my idea of a holiday. I just need some time alone.
Anything except this is nothing but another addition to my year long battle with the world updating myself every second(clothes, vocab, social circle everything) just so as to be in the race. I want a holiday rather to frame it rightly I need a "BREAK"
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